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Sistering: What we do for our local cancer Patients and their Caregivers every day

6/27/2016

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{Pictured left to right: Beth Kroetz, Kim Switzer, Ann Buis, Kathy Fell, and Sherri Garner at our "Absolutely Fabulous 'Sistering' Event for Cancer Patient Services" May 23 at DiVine Wine Bar}

“There is a term in carpentry called Sistering. This is how one Momastery reader defines it:
Sometimes an existing joist, which was designed to handle a certain load, becomes too weak. Maybe it was damaged by water or fire. Maybe it still has structural integrity but an addition is being constructed and the new load is going to be a lot heavier than before. Either way, now it is not as sturdy as it needs to be.
When a builder needs to strengthen that joist, she puts a new member right next to the original one and fastens the two together. Sometimes, two new joists are needed- one on either side.
Do you know what they call that?
A Sister Joist.
And builders use “Sister” as a verb, like, “We need to Sister the joists in the east bay about four feet.” Even better is the nonsensical: “Sistering” as in, “Are they finished Sistering the roof rafters?” ~ Glennon Doyle Melton, Momastery blog author
 
I am drawn to this concept of sistering, and it isn’t because I am a woman... although, I think that is part of it.  I have personally experienced some difficult times in my life.  During those times, I have had the privilege of being "sistered". 

Well, that is after I gave up trying to do it all on my own. I think we sisters can be a bit stubborn sometimes, and a fair number of us suffer from a Superwoman complex.  We feel we can do everything by ourselves. Back off, I got this!!  But the reality is we don’t, and we can’t.  I think that is why I love this idea of "sistering". 

It is my understanding that "sistering" is the dance of supporting someone else when we know they need it, and then reaching out when we admit we need to be supported, too. It's an ebb and flow. That is how life works: sometimes we are the strong ones and other times we need someone else’s strength. 
 
I believe "sistering" greatly applies to the work we do at Cancer Patient Services every day. We are here for our local cancer patients when they need something or someone sturdy to lean on.  And, it turns out, we have had clients become volunteers, Board Members, Committee Members or donors, as they take the opportunity to then "sister" CPS.

For more information on Sistering and Glennon, check out her website and video.
http://momastery.com/blog/
Be a “Sister”. https://vimeo.com/143054338
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WHen is it O.K. to use your Cancer Card?

6/22/2016

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This image was borrowed from Blogger "Sweet and a little Smart-assy"

A diagnosis of cancer brings about a rush of different emotions....  One of those feelings can be loss; loss of control.  Your nice, orderly life has been completely turned upside down.  Your days are now filled with Doctors appointments, lab work, scans and treatments.  And on top of all that, those treatments are causing fatigue.  So, you have a busier schedule and less energy to get it all accomplished.

Allow me to officially give you permission: USE YOUR “CANCER CARD”.  Yup, I said it! Well, technically since I typed it in all caps, I yelled it.  You probably don’t want to admit it.... but you need to be cut some slack. You are going through a difficult time in your life physically, mentally, and emotionally.  It is o.k. to take a break. 

Are you tired?  Take a nap.  You are allowed.  Treatment is zapping your body of its energy.  Sleep restores that energy.  Don’t feel like cooking dinner?  Eat a bowl of cereal.  It’s o.k.  You don’t have to eat a healthy, well-balanced meal every night, and niether does your family.  Just eating something might be all you can manage that day, and your friends or family members can assist with the rest.  You don’t need to justify it to anyone, because you are holding the “cancer card”.

You can also use the “cancer card” with friends and family.  Ask them for help.  Wouldn’t it be nice if someone could go to the grocery store for you?  Give your list to your friend and send them on their way while you lay down and rest.  Allow your family to fix you a healthy snack. Your friends and family WANT to help you.  Some of them don’t know how to help you...  Tell them.  It’s o.k., you have “the card”.  Grass is getting long, your sidewalks need shoveled... so ask a neighbor.  They will be GLAD you asked and that there is something they can do to help out.  What about a fellow church member?  They like to help, too.  Let them wash your dishes, vacuum your floors, take your dog for a walk, etc.  There are plenty of people in your life that would like to pitch in and make your life a little easier, now.  Cash in “that card”.  Ask for the help.

A cancer diagnosis doesn’t come with many gifts.....  Your “cancer card” is one of them. 
USE IT!!  I know it is hard to be vulnerable.  We want to be able to take care of ourselves and not feel like we're burdening anyone else.  Guess what, people don't know what else to do or say so they want to help you with your "burdens".  Think of it this way, allowing someone to help you is giving them the gift of service.  You are actually giving them a gift. And, if the roles were reversed, wouldn't you want to be able to do anything to help your friend, family member, neighbor, or church member?

The people in your life love you and want to support you!!
So take that “cancer card” out and start using it!! 
 
{Though there may not be an actual "cancer card", Cancer Patient Services can offer clients
"Free Passes" to our Healing Arts Programming which include massages, Reiki, counseling, art therapy, music therapy, and more. See our Calendar of Events:  http://goo.gl/xF9WzE​} ​
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New Normal

6/9/2016

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I just want to go back to normal....we hear this statement a lot in our office from clients.

​I am going to share some tough information.  You will NEVER be able to go back to NORMAL.  At least not in the sense of your “old Normal.” It doesn’t exist anymore. 

Like the saying goes…"Normal is just a setting on the dryer".  What is Normal anyway?  Do you mean the way it used to be?  How things were?  Did you wish to go back to Normal after you graduated High School? After you got married?  After kids? 

While many of us do long for the “old days”, we know we can’t go back.  And honestly, do you really want to go back? I, for one, am glad I don’t have to relive my teenage years and am super glad my son now sleeps through the night.  I don’t ever want those “Normals” back again.

Having cancer is a life-changing event.  Just like graduating High school, going to college, getting married, getting divorced, having kids or losing a job.  There is a feeling of loss and grieving what used to be.  But here is the thing, as you move through that loss you then enter into your “new Normal”. 

You have the ability and the capacity to create your “new Normal.”  Yes, you are a cancer survivor, now.  But that isn’t all you are.  Cancer has taught you so many things about yourself.  You are Strong.  You faced fear and uncertainty.  Pretty Big Stuff!!  You have been humble and vulnerable.  You have given the people in your life the gift of service.  You have allowed them to care for you, support you, and love on you.  You have allowed yourself to heal.  You have taken care of you.  Not only has your body experienced change, but you have changed. 
​You have grieved the loss of your “old Normal” and you have moved on.
And, this new “Normal” looks really good on you!!

#whatisnormal #whybenormal

{At Cancer Patient Services, through the generosity of our donors and supporters we are able to provide healing arts programming and services. If you are a client, caregiver or survivor, please reach out to us regarding counseling, our support groups, and much more to help you find the NEW YOU and your NEW NORMAL.} 
​www.cancerpatientservices.org/healing-arts-therapies-for-clients.html

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    Author

    Carol Metzger is CEO of CPS. After losing her husband and her mother to cancer, she gets the gravity of a cancer diagnosis. But, in working with CPS clients over the past five years, she also has seen happiness and friendship evolve out of the support and love we extend one another. This blog is a lot of Carol’s first and second hand experiences with people going through cancer, and she welcomes comments and feedback from you. 

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CANCER PATIENT SERVICES


Location
1800 N. Blanchard St. Suite 120  Findlay, OH  45840
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Hours:
Monday-Thursday 9:00AM-4:00PM
Contact:
Phone: 419.423.0286  
Fax: 888-505-2578
support@cancerpatientservices.org
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