Cancer Patient Services has been offering individual emotional support to cancer patients and their families since 2012.  Surprisingly, it is not utilized as much as we thought it would be.  And, not surprisingly, our Clients, their family and their caregivers who have utilized this service give us fantastic reviews!  They have told us that they have benefited from the service.

So, why aren’t that many people using this service?  

Well, I thought back to my own personal experience with counseling.  How did I finally make the decision to seek counseling after my husband’s cancer diagnosis? I didn’t really go willingly...  It definitely wasn’t my idea.  And, I actually fought it for several years.

I had spoken to my family doctor about the stress and anxiety I was experiencing because of my husband’s cancer diagnosis and his subsequent treatments.  I was prescribed an antidepressant.  And, that did seem to help some.  But it didn’t “fix” everything.  While it would be great to pop a pill and have all our anxiety, depression and stress just vanish, prescription medication cannot do that. 

My mom asked me several times about seeing a counselor.  I had lots of reasons for not making an appointment: no time, no money, not sure they could help.  I was busy working a full-time job, taking care of a toddler and a husband whose cancer had, at this point in time, confined him to a wheelchair.  Not only was my plate full, I think I was carrying around the whole kitchen table. 

So, how did I finally decide to make that call to a counselor?  The owner of the company I worked for at the time had lost his wife to cancer several years before.  He told me to call and said he was going to check back with me to make sure that I did.  Now, many people would say that he overstepped his boundaries with me?  But, the reality is that accountability actually saved me. 
I called a counseling service I found in the phone book because I liked the name (definitely not a recommended method) and left a message.  Part of me hoped I wouldn’t get a call back and I could report back that "I tried".  But, that is not what happened.  I received a return phone call and set up an appointment.  That call turned into a 4-year relationship with a wonderful counselor.  I saw her regularly for 3 and ½ years before my husband died and another 6 months after his death. 

After fighting the idea of a counselor for several years, I came to really enjoy my sessions and actually looked forward to them.  It became a time to take care of me.  I was able to talk about issues that I couldn’t or wouldn’t talk about with my husband.  As a caregiver, your role is to care and support your loved one.  But as a person shouldering all that responsibility and stress, you don’t have a lot of opportunity to talk about your needs, concerns and issues.  Those sessions with my counselor gave me that opportunity.

I know that time in counseling helped with my own grief, and also the grief of my young son.
​I believe it also helped to prepare me for my current role of CEO at Cancer Patient Services.  Making that first step for me was hard.  But I know that it has positively impacted by ability to move forward after my husband’s death.

If you have questions on whether you might benefit from the services of a mental health professional, here is a link to a few good articles.
1. When to seek a Professional: Mental Health America 
2. 8 Signs you should see a counselor: Huffington Post

If you would like to talk to me personally about my experience, I am more than happy to share with you.  Please reach out to me via email cmetzger@cancerpatientservices.org, and we can make arrangements to talk in more detail.

Cancer Patient Services provides emotional support free of charge to all clients and their family members.  If you would like more information on this service, please contact us at 419.423.0286 or email us at support@cancerpatientservices.org
​

1.  Local charities understand the local community.
Local charities are staffed and run by local people who are in tune with what is happening in our community.  They are connected to their community and best understand local needs, along with how to meet those needs.

2. Local donations help your family, friends, neighbors and co-workers.
Donations stay within your own community and are utilized for local people.  While we know people suffer all over the world, local charities are there to provide physical, nutritional, emotional and financial assistance to those we may know in our immediate proximity. You can support the people you know and care about.

3. Giving local helps improve the quality of life of the individuals that live locally.
Giving locally helps build a stronger community.  By helping individuals in need in your own community, you are reducing hunger and homelessness, you are supporting those with cancer or mental illness, and you are assisting those struggling with substance abuse issues.  Supporting the lives of local individuals experiencing these stressors not only improves their quality of life, but your local support ultimately positively impacts your day-to-day life in our community.

4. You can see the impact of your donations.
Because your donations stay within your community, you are able to witness or hear the stories of the individuals you have been helped.  Those people are your family, friends, neighbors and co-workers. 

5. Local giving is face to face.
Local charities are engaged in the community.  Local charities collaborate with other local charities to provide the greatest outcome from your donation.  Donating local goes to an organization that you can visit personally. There is no unreachable hierarchy. You can meet staff and see the good they do daily, first-hand.  You are able to put a face to that organization.  You are able to develop a personal relationship with the organization and their mission.

6. Local donations impact the local economy.
Supporting local charities that support local individuals positively impacts our local economy. Your dollars are not going to executives outside of our community. In addition, by trying to keep our friends, coworkers and neighbors from financial ruin during a cancer diagnosis, we are helping them remain in their homes, at their jobs and allowing them to care for their family. 

7. Local charities are PASSSIONATE about their cause and their local community.
Nonprofit leaders and staff personnel are passionate about their organization.  Very often they have a personal connection to their mission.  At Cancer Patient Services, we understand cancer. Our staff members have experienced it in our own families and close personal circles.  We care about those individuals in our community who have received a cancer diagnosis.  They are our family, friends, neighbors and co-workers, too. 

If you choose to give local: https://goo.gl/VJwhPb
#localhelpinglocal #givelocal #givingTuesday #strongcommunity #givewhereyoulive

 Because of the work that we do, our staff unfortunately experiences a lot of death.  Oftentimes, we have 2-3 clients per week pass away.  I have written more sympathy cards than I can count in my 5 ½ years with Cancer Patient Services...

I can't tell you how often I've heard the phrase, "I could never do your job".  As you may agree, witnessing death weekly can be too sad or too hard for some to deal with emotionally.

The hard truth is…it is hard to see clients die from cancer.  I get sad.  I get emotional.  Usually, I cry.  Clients are like family to us.  It is difficult to watch cancer ravage their bodies – steal their energy – and see our clients face their own mortality.

I struggle watching families deal with a cancer diagnosis.  It is heartbreaking to watch a young father leave behind a wife and two small boys.  It saddens me to see a wife married over 50 years struggle to live without her life-long partner.  It is hard for me to see grown children lose their mother, their person to go to in times of difficulty.

But actually, grief and sadness aren’t the feelings that overtake me.  I am grateful.  I am grateful that, in some very small ways, CPS is able to make their life a little better.  Grateful that we were able to share a smile or some laughter.  Grateful that I am allowed to come into their lives at a very difficult time.  Grateful that they trust us enough to be vulnerable and ask for help. 

We see people at their worst; shattered, afraid and often angry.  And let’s face it, they have earned the right to show all of those emotions. They got dealt a sh**tty hand of cards.  But, as the amazing Randy Pausch, author of The Last Lecture,  described  it “We cannot change the cards we are dealt, just how we play the hand.” 

So, I am grateful that we get the opportunity to help clients and their families play the hand they have been dealt as very best they can.  I actually find joy in the process, and not surprisingly, they usually do, too.

If you would like to see The Last Lecture given by Randy Pausch and presented by TED, here is the link. If you would like a copy of the book, we have several here in our office.  We are happy to share them with you.

Please consider making a donation to help us stack the deck for our cancer patients and their families. #thelastlecture #randypausch #cpsbeatcancer

By Michael Lee Bucher
Cancer Patient Services has proven to be a constant in the [local] community for those of us who battle Cancer. They are continuously working diligently behind the scenes to provide us patients with kindness, love, care and understanding. I wish to thank all who contribute; they have helped make my life and the life of many others a bit more pain free with their many services [along with the] goods they provide.
 
I wish to expound upon a program they offer that has become a favorite of many of ours. That is, [their] "Healing Arts" [Program]. As I ponder on the aspect and nature of the program, it likens to me the "Universal" effects of healing powers. The magnificence and power of the universe can provide the energy to aid in healing when captured in creative ways. Healing Arts provides this in an array of activities. From massage, Rieki, Meditation, Painting (by Brush and Ink), Nutrition, Jewelry Making, Music, Horticulture and possibly [there will be] new surprises on the horizon... These programs in the arts have helped many of us to meet new people, learn new skills, allow us to drift into new media and explore new ideas creatively while sharing love and laughter. [I cannot express enough] appreciation to all those who dedicate their time for "us"; it is impossible to put into words. But, certainly a very big THANK YOU for sharing your gifts and talents to allow us to focus - if even for a while - on the power of the universe, the nature within it and learn to reach out into it, grab a hold and capture the gifts of the arts to help in the healing process.
 
Cancer Patient Services, their Healing Arts Program and those who dedicate their time and services to us through their trade have helped make time [with Cancer] much more enjoyable, valuable and fun. We have a blast, you should join us!
Once again, Thank You for all you do, for US!

We know we need to have end of life discussions, so why is it so hard to talk about wills, medical powers of attorney or anything else surrounding end of life planning?  Why is it so hard to talk to our spouses, parents or other loved ones regarding death?  

Really, end of life planning is just another form of insurance.  We buy health insurance, not because we want to get sick.  We pay for car insurance, not because we plan on getting into a car accident.  So, why don’t we want to “insure” our final wishes?

This is a difficult topic to discuss, but lack of planning could have significant effect on your loved ones.  So we are going to talk it!!

When is the best time to conduct end of life planning?  NOW. Not later, not in a few years, but NOW!! If you are over 18 years of age, your final wishes need to be documented.  Not just shared with family members, but recorded in a legal format. 

End of life planning is much more than wills.  There are other documents that can be just as important in ensuring your final wishes are followed.  I want to discuss just a few of them.
Medical Power of Attorney
This link is a sample Medical Power of Attorney. This legal document allows someone to make medical decisions on your behalf, if you are incapacitated.  They are the individual you have chosen to carry out your wishes on issues like artificial nutrition or hydration, Do Not Resuscitate (DNR) orders, comfort care or life sustaining treatments.  This form is for medical decisions only and does not impact any financial or personal assets.
Financial Power of Attorney
Review a Financial Power of Attorney, otherwise known as a Durable Power of Attorney.
This legal document allows you to appoint someone to take care of your financial affairs. This can include items such as: real estate, stocks, bonds or other financial investments, insurance or retirement funds, bank accounts, business accounts, and other financial related items.  The individual that you appoint as your Durable Power of Attorney does not have to be the same person you appoint as your Medical Power of Attorney.  They also do not necessarily have to be a relative.  But they do need to be someone that is able to carry out these duties.
Wills, Trusts and other Legacy Planning documents
Wills, Trusts and other Legacy Planning documents are all various ways to plan for the disbursement of all of your assets after you die.  There are numerous methods and formats individuals can use. There are many attorneys or financial planners that can help you determine the best structure for your individual situation.  You should select someone that has experience with end of life planning. 
 
Starttheconversation.org has wonderful resources to help you have end of life planning conversations with your loved ones.  Creating an end of life plan for yourself is the final gift you can give to your loved ones.

Do you have little ones? This book written by Leo Buscaglia, Ph.D. is a beautiful story about a leaf and it helps to put death into perspective. It's even a good reminder for us all....